More Than You Think You Are
by the-long-lost-strawberry
Summary: Do you love me for who I am or whose body I'm inside of? RukiKon Implied IchiRuki
1. Cold

Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo and the album _More Than You Think You Are_ from Matchbox Twenty

A/N: HI HI! Sorry I never updated indecisive rain but I've gotten very little inspiration for that pairing….Sigh But I got two pages typed out so hopefully soon neh? Anyway I felt like writing a Rukia/Kon (yeah funky pairing I know but I've seen weirder). Besides he's in Ichigo's body that's the only reason I like it haha. It's also cute how he 'dedicated his heart and soul' to her despite still being a complete perv. Enough with my rambling! If you actually feel like reading this crap go ahead! XD **warning: Death of ****a ****character ****So**** it's going to be ****angsty**

**More Than You Think You Are**

**I**

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_She couldn't beli__e__ve __it;__ she didn't want to believe it. Her dainty fingers curled around the figures black robes as she let out a chocked sob. __Ichigo__ Kurosaki lay dying on her lap, with a weak smile on his bloody lips.__ Using the last of his strength, the substitute __shinigami__ lifted his right hand and wiped away his angels' tears._

_"Don't cry for me," he whispered gently, because he knew his few seconds of life would waste faster if he spoke louder._

_"__Why would I be crying for you fool, it's your own fault you're like __this!__" She rasped out, failing miserably to stop the crystal liquid from falling from her violet eyes. __Ichigo__ said nothing at first and continued to stroke her cheek._

_"You knew I had to protect you, __Rukia__," __came__ his reply. She shuddered at the sound of her name; it was probably the last time she'll hear it coming out of him._

_"Don't be selfish! Why waste your protection on me? __What about your family __Ichigo__?!"__ His smile widened, his callous fingers softly tracing the contours of her face._

_"Because I love you__ stupid__," he __breathed out simply, his shoulders relaxing as if a huge boulder was lifted from his chest. __Rukia's__ eyes widened and made no effort to keep the tears from falling. Her small hand covered his larger one._

_"You idiot, if you love me so much why are you in this condition?"__ The strawberry chuckled wistfully._

_"Why do you keep answering my answers with a question?"_

_"Didn't anybody tell you not to answer a question with another question," she bit back bitterly, trying to keep her sense of humor. Amber orbs softened as he ignored her and asked another question anyway._

_"Do you love me?"__ She wept harder, knowing that the sense of urgency in his voice hinted that there was little time left._

_"I do, I love you so much," The smile twisted to a small smirk._

_"I knew you did," he murmured smugly. The carrot tops head shifted slightly upward signaling __Rukia__ for her to lean down the rest of the way. Without hesitation she bent her head so that their wanting lips brushed lightly against each other.__ There was no bottled up passion but sweet gentle bliss.__It was their first and last kiss. Pulling back the raven haired woman peered down on __Ichigo's__ amber eyes slowly closing, forever to be shunned from her life._

_"See __ya__ around __Rukia__,"_

_"Yeah, see __ya__Ichigo__,"_

_He closed his eyes and a __piercing __scream filled the night air._

_---------------------------------_

Kon twist and turned on Ichigo's bed. His eyes traveled to the digital clock on the nightstand.

_1:43 A.M_

Letting out a huge breath Kon childishly kicked the covers off of him. There was no way someone can sleep when they were so worried. Slouching over the edge of the bed he finally decided to stand up and made his way toward the window. In one fluid tug he opened it and stared at the starless sky. There was something terribly wrong with this night but he just didn't know what it was. He clutched his orange mane in frustration. Each time the two would go out hollow hunting he'd feel so worried, especially for his nee-san. He knew she could take care of herself since she regained her powers, and her stubborn attitude makes her near impossible to kill. But there's always something nagging him that she might not come back…just like after they rescued Orihime from Hueco Mundo.

He could still remember the terrible argument she and Ichigo had that same night they returned regarding her safety. His plush ears immediately picked up Ichigo's furious yet broken tone as he screamed at her for convincing him to let her go alone. Of course she didn't back down and argued back saying that in the long run Orihime was still saved. That's when the carrot top exploded and cursed at her, stomping out of the room and shutting the door with a definite slam. Soon afterward she headed straight for his window and jumped out, leaving him alone in the closet. Despite being a plush doll, he felt his heart clench and for once thought badly of her. How can she be so selfish? Couldn't she see how much she meant to that stupid Strawberry? How much she meant…to _him_?

"Ichigo…Nee-san," he sighed, his tone softer when addressing Rukia. In that moment the corner of his eye caught a large black form walking toward the clinic. Kon fully whipped his head to his left to check if it wasn't a hollow. Relief washed over him when he saw the small stature of his Nee-san, but blanched when he took notice of the orange headed Shinigami slumped over her back. Why was she heading to the Kurosaki clinic rather than running to Orihime's or that creepy bowl hat guy's shop? What's worse, he couldn't feel Ichigo's soul. He wanted to desperately run downstairs and find out why he couldn't feel his spiritual pressure, if he was actually--. But he stayed behind the protection of Ichigo's bedroom walls because he could already feel Isshin's spiked reiatsu heading for the front door in an alarming rate. There was no reason for a mod konpaku in his son's body to interfere. Luckily, the twins were in a slumber party, and couldn't see their onii-san's busted body (well Karin for the most part). The Mod soul carefully turned the knob and opened the door slightly, in hopes to know what happened to man whose body he currently inhabits.

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She arrived at the Kurosaki household, eyes dead just like the body she carried on her back. To think she was more composed the first time she did this. Her hand hadn't even reached the door when she was met with Isshin's wild and panic stricken face.

"Where is he?!" He boomed, all rational thoughts fleeting the father from seeing his son perched on the girl's back. With her own swirling depression she completely forgot that she and Ichigo were in their Shinigami form.

"Mr. Kurosaki…please-," the weight of the orange haired shinigami was lifted as the former captain held him in his arms.

"Oh, Ichigo…," he whimpered out, bringing Masaki's dead son closer to his chest, refusing to let any tears fall, yet.

"How…," was the only word he managed to conjure up without fighting back a sob. Rukia placed a hand over her mouth, she already cried enough in the park to last a Shinigami's lifetime. She bowed her head in respect and to escape the look of his eyes.

"I-I'm so sorry Mr. Kurosaki…it's all my fault. He died protecting me from a hollow and the wounds he received were mortal and…," she couldn't continue but simply finished it with another sentence, "I'm sorry,"

"Don't be," he replied calmly. Rukia lifted her head in bewilderment.

"Why? Why does nobody ever blame me?! It's my fault that your son was taken away from you!" She didn't expect what the man did next. Tilting his head back he let out a rueful laugh.

"You sound just like my pig headed son alright. Always blaming himself for his mother's death,"

"I…," but nothing wanted to get past her throat, so she opted to keep on listening.

"He always wondered why I gave him his name if he didn't fulfill it, or so he thought. I'm glad he died this way, protecting you Rukia-chan, the first woman beside his mother and sisters to become a part of his heart." He stayed silent for a couple of seconds before stating sadly,

"If I can turn back the hands of time I would have sacrificed my life for Masaki, just like my Son for you…so don't go wasting your life." Isshin looked down at the bloody corpse before whispering brokenly,

"I'm proud of you Son, I only wish you could hear me," and for the first time in nine years, Isshin cried.

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The blood from Kon's face drained when he heard the entire conversation. Ichigo was dead? Impossible! He couldn't think much less move when he saw Rukia swing open the door, entering Ichigo's room. Without making a sound he saw her climb into her gigai that lay asleep in the closet and stepped back out. When she faced Kon her eyes widened in disbelief, he in return muttered out the only words he could think at the moment.

"N-Nee-san…," and like a spell it was broken. Reality came flooding back to her when she realized it wasn't Ichigo standing in front of her but only Kon.

"Kon," she recognized, and in that one syllable he understood what she wanted so badly.

"It's okay to cry Nee-san…I won't judge you," without giving a fight the death goddess cried, not caring for her pride if anyone heard her. The Mod soul slowly walked toward her and gently wrapped his arms around her tiny form. He could feel the white t-shirt getting stained with tears, but did not pull away. His Nee-san needed him, and there was no way he was going to sit back this time.

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_TBC Maybe..?_

A/N: Okay this has got to be the darkest fic I have ever written…and I know most of you want to kill me for killing Ichigo (Hell I almost wanted to myself since I love Ichi so much : ) But that's how it has to go…-sighs- I just wanted to try my hands on a KonRuki story. It won't be depressing the whole way just the beginning chapters. I don't expect many reviews for this but it'll still be nice to hear from you. Review please:3

and no flaming and cussing me out for killing Ichigo :'( I'm sorry ok?


	2. Unwell

Disclaimer: Bleach isn't mine :( Nuuuuuu!!

A/N: Sooooo...I haven't updated anything so I started to feel a bit guilty. Albeit not my best story but this one never got a second chapter so I finally got around to it. I apologize if this chapter sucks, I'm trying to get back into writing D: Please be gentle LOL

**Moon Fire Rabbit:** Thank You, I didn't know my story could have such an impact. This story is a bit depressing but it will get lighter, in fact this chapter proves that. Hopefully I don't let you with this!! :)

**Wait-For-Sleep:** Well it took me long enough but I got this out!! LOL I hope you like it X

**PriscillaGirl:** Yeah, I usually don't write such sad stories but I decided to try one anyway LOL and judging by the reviews it was utter PHAIL!! (yes I know it's misspelled) XXD But I appreciate that you took the time to drop the review and that you enjoyed it!

**WARNING: OOCness!! BEWARE!!**

**More Than You Think You Are:**

**Chapter 2: Unwell**

Kon irritably twisted on the tiny bed that was occupied by two beings. His nee-san had fallen asleep on his chest , making him wonder how tears could keep escaping her violet orbs despite them being shut tightly. The Mod Konpaku bit his lip in self-disgust when he heard another whimper. He knew he was being selfish when he tucked her in bed with himself. Ichigo had just died less than twenty-four hours ago and he couldn't help but feel comforted with her nuzzling rather than the other way around. He quickly pulled away unable to stand his pathetic cry for attention. Nee-san needed him to be strong and supportive, and he was doing a poor job at it. A tiny childlike hand began to tug on the cloth that wrapped across his hard chest. This time Kon let out a whimper, he couldn't deny Nee-san's need for warmth. Arms that are and at the same time are not his, wrapped around her slim waist, pulling her closer. In an instant her eyes snapped open. Kon was taken back, noticing how they were the lively violet they always are, rather than the dull blue they were last night.

"Ichigo?" Kon felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. She didn't remember, and he said nothing. He kept Ichigo's amber eyes locked onto to hers, trying to keep her in ignorant bliss for a little while longer. How long will it be until he sees her smile again? The light tug of her lips made him want to lie to her for eternity, yet he knew he couldn't. Cautiously, as if she were to break if he spoke too loud, he whispered despondently.

"I'm sorry Nee-san…I'm not him," In a split second he saw her eyes change to the terrible blank hue that he hated, her face becoming paler as well. Kon refused to look away, he couldn't show how much this affected him.

"Where is he?" she rasped, her small handing fisting his white shirt tighter. A sigh escaped his lips, and for once did not speak out of instinct. He could have easily blurted out bluntly that Ichigo was dead and that his soul disintegrated into reishei in his father's arms. Unconsciously he began to run his hand on the small of her back in a soothing manner, she of course failed to notice, his voice a soft murmur that you'd have strain your ears to hear.

"To a place that we cannot follow, " and he closed his eyes to stop himself from seeing the tears spill from her beautiful eyes, unfortunately, he could not save himself from her heart retching cries.

--

The morning brought no joy, even if it was a new day it made no difference. Kon sluggishly, yet gently, removed his nee-san's hands from his chest, letting her have a few more minutes of sleep. His rough thumb traced the underside of her eyes, a frown reaching his face. The dark circles clashed terribly with her alabaster skin. He sighed softly and glided off the bed trying not to shift the mattress much, his feet bringing him swiftly to the door after he picked out the bland school uniform from the closet. The Mod konpaku cannot resist one last look to Rukia before silently exiting the room.

Fully dressed, Kon was greeted down the stairs by Yuzu's jovial voice, "Morning ichi-Nii!" He immediately twisted a scowl to impersonate her beloved brother, besides it was quite easy remembering all the crap he was had to put up as 'Bostov'.

"Ah, Morning Yuzu," Apparently Isshin didn't tell the twins of Ichigo's fate, he didn't know if he should be relieved or anxious. Speaking of Goat Chin he noticed that he was not in the kitchen.

"Where's Issh-er I mean Dad?" Kon bit his tongue as Karin raised an eyebrow curiously at him. Day one and he was already screwing things up, just freaking PEACHY.

"Dunno," the tomboy answered biting into her toast, "I haven't seen him today, surprisingly, let's count our blessings," He inwardly flinched_, 'If you only knew,' _Yuzu eyed 'Ichigo' as he sat across of Karin, snagging pieces of bacon that was in the middle of the table on to his plate quietly. That's when she finally pinpointed what was bothering her.

"Ichi-Nii, where's Rukia-Nee?" Kon, with much struggle, swallowed the giant bite of toast and began hacking. Completely oblivious to his chocking she continued to ponder,

"She'll be late to school if she doesn't come down soon," with a loud slam, Kon stood to his full height and mumbled in a hollow tone,

"She's not feeling well; please don't bother her today," The twins blinked in unison with bewilderment at their brother's behavior, two sets of brown irises trained on him as he grabbed his book bag and a plate full of food and retreating upstairs.

Karin gawked at the stairs he just climbed and turned to her worried sister.

"What the hell crawled up his ass and died?" Yuzu could only shrug in response.

--

Against his better judgment, he knocked. He waited, and as expected, there was no answer. Twisting the knob and opening the door, Kon fearfully looked up, only to be met by dull eyes once more. The orange head smiled ruefully and placed the plate on the desk.

"I brought you breakfast Nee-san," The silence was suffocating, and he fervently wished that Ichigo was still alive, no matter how much it pained him to see her in love with somebody else.

"Arigato, Kon," She was too wrapped up in her own suffering that Rukia missed Kon's visible cringe. Said Mod Soul never heard her voice sound so…dead. _'How ironic,'_ his mind chastised.

"You're welcome," he replied, looking anywhere except her shell of a body, "I think you should stay home today…or the rest of the week for the matter. I'll tell Uryuu, Chad, and Orihime about…," He licked his suddenly dry lips before finishing his sentence.

"About Ichigo's death," he tucked his hands in his pockets and fisted them when he heard her inhale sharply. He refused to show his gritted teeth as he silently berated Ichigo. _'You die and you leave the person we most care about to suffer? You're fucking unbelievable you know that?'_

"No. I'll tell them," Amber eyes widened and were directed to her in disbelief. Rukia nearly wept that very moment at the sight of those familiar and gorgeous orbs.

"You don't have to I-!"

"Yes I do!" She screamed, and then in a much quieter voice she finished, "He's dead because of me," Before Rukia could even register what happened, Kon had crushed her tiny frame into his hard chest. His right hand tangling its fingers into her messy, yet soft raven locks.

"That's not true. Don't think for a second that this is your fault, I know for a fact he will never blame you," Unlike his other hugs in which she always found perverted and annoying, this one was soothing and calming, if he didn't pull away she knew she would have fallen to a peaceful sleep.

"Kon…," He smiled a bit more brightly at her tone, there was more emotion to it.

"I'll be heading to school now," his soft footsteps stopped when he heard the midget speak up.

"Wait for me outside," Kon simply turned and gave her another smile. As if he could ever deny his Nee-san anything.

--

The walk to Karakura High was nerve racking and of course, silent. He should have known better that what happened ten minutes ago would blow over in time and Rukia would return to her previous depressed state, but he didn't think this fast. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and whisper sweet nothings into her ear and scold her to be the ass kicking woman he knows she is at the same time. But as luck would have it, the only person reserved to do that was dead, and he was inside his body, until it dies too.

They finally reached the school gates and were met with the faces of the rest of the team. Orihime looked distraught and her eyes were glazed as if anything could cause a river of tears to be unleashed. Uryuu's face was impassive, but his lips were set into a thin line. Chad being Chad, kept his eyes hidden under his curly bangs.

"Kuchiki-san, where's Kurosaki-kun?" The usually bubbly girl asked shakily. Kon stood to the side stupidly, seeing that everyone was ignoring him, like always. He watched with concern as Rukia's body began to shake uncontrollably.

"Nee-san, if you want I'll tell them," His only answer was her shaking head. Admiration filled his being and his eyes softened; she was trying to be strong, even after the man that she loved died in her arms. Taking in one last breath Rukia raised her violet eyes to her expecting audience.

"He died last night…trying to protect me from a hollow's attack," A collective gasp was released and Orihime's loud crying began. Rukia kept her gaze to her feet.

"I'm so sorry…," Orihime's smoldering gray eyes blazed with anger and sadness at Rukia's response.

"You're sorry? Ichigo is dead because you practically killed him and that's all you have to say for yourself?!" Everyone's mouth dropped open at her outburst. Rukia knitted her brows together in hurt. 

Orihime was her best friend, yet she was also in love with ichigo, she would understand if she wanted her dead too.

"There was nothing I could do…,"

"BULLSHIT! You could have stopped the hollow from hitting him! In fact Kurosaki-kin would still be alive if we just let you die in Soul Society!" The salty tears began to fall rapidly down her angered cheeks. Her emotions were now getting the better of her, to the point that she had no idea what she was saying, nor how much they pained the girl in front of her.

"Orihime, please calm down," Uryuu ushered, placing his hand on her shoulder. She moved out of his grasp and took three steps closer to Rukia until she was a foot away from her. The violet eyed girl shifted her gaze to lock with Orihime's. The red head raised her hand to strike her and Rukia braced herself, she deserved so much worse anyway. Why didn't Isshin take out his anger like Inoue anyway? It would definitely make her feel slightly less guilty. A loud noise filled the air, but Rukia didn't feel any pain. Cracking one eye open she saw a tall lanky body in front of her…with orange hair.

"Kon, step aside, this is none of your concern," Oddly enough, he ignored her and growled furiously at Inoue as his grasp on her wrist tightened. She gasped in pain as he continued to squeeze her offending limb.

"Don't you dare hurt her!" Kon snarled, his face pinching to an expression Ichigo usually reserved for Aizen. "If it wasn't for Nee-san your brother would have consumed you a long time ago!" Orihime snapped her face to his in shock. Her tears slowly subsided but did not stop.

"I'm sorry Kuchiki-san…I don't know what came over me," Kon let go of her arm but still stood protectively in front of Rukia. She was quick to answer and tried to step aside to get a better view but Kon refused to let her do such a thing.

"I understand Inoue, personally I think I deserve it," The Mod Konpaku felt a knot form in his stomach. He despised how much self-loathing she harbored. The tension was broken as the warning bell rang signaling the students that they had five minutes before classes started.

"I think it's best if we talk about this later," Uryuu suggested, still unable to digest that one of his closest friends has been killed. Chad nodded and began to walk toward class. _'Goodbye Ichigo, I'm sorry I couldn't have your back one last time,' _

"I think I'll head home," whispered Inoue, knowing she won't be able to stop crying. Kon looked back at Rukia and asked gently,

"Do you want to head home too Nee-san?" His thoughts were tossed out the window when he felt her tiny arms wrap around his waist.

"N-Nee-san?"

"Thank you, Kon, even if I took away Ichigo's life, you still don't hate me" A tiny smile made its way to his lips.

"How could I hate you? Despite what you say everything you touch comes to life," his smile grew wider, "Even stuffed animals,"

--

TBC…someday 8D LOL

A/N: So I updated!! My most unpopular story lol but hey just to show you guys I'm not dead! I know this is waaaay OOC I'm sorry!! Still though I hope you like it : Please Don't forget to review!


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